I started writing this a little over a month ago and I think it's finished for now, thanks to my afternoon off today. As far as words go, I'm very proud of this one. :)
Listen up baby,
I got a confession to make
It's kinda crazy, but
I think that I made a mistake on you, on you
You see I was kinda lonely,
You were the first girl I saw
It's kinda funny; never gave you a second thought
Before you told me you had your eyes on me
There's a first for everything
Like the newborn's steps and a diamond ring
It's nothing personal
It's nothing personal
It's nothing personal, it's just how it goes
We were doomed for failure
Right from the start
I had all these made up feelings,
Swapped a brain for my heart
If I had a clue, I wouldn't be with you
But we can still be friends, girl
if you want, we can talk about the weather
Just not what's in our hearts
Cuz I'm over you
Aren't you over me, too?
There's a first for everything
Even champions lose and vultures sing
It's nothing personal
It's nothing personal
It's nothing personal, it's just how it goes x2
Monday, December 28, 2009
Prayer
I've been learning a lot about prayer lately and really seeing what it looks like to pray the way God intends us to pray. Take a look at Luke 11 and you'll see what I mean...
5-6Then he said, "Imagine what would happen if you went to a friend in the middle of the night and said, 'Friend, lend me three loaves of bread. An old friend traveling through just showed up, and I don't have a thing on hand.'
5-6Then he said, "Imagine what would happen if you went to a friend in the middle of the night and said, 'Friend, lend me three loaves of bread. An old friend traveling through just showed up, and I don't have a thing on hand.'
7"The friend answers from his bed, 'Don't bother me. The door's locked; my children are all down for the night; I can't get up to give you anything.'
8"But let me tell you, even if he won't get up because he's a friend, if you stand your ground, knocking and waking all the neighbors, he'll finally get up and get you whatever you need.
9"Here's what I'm saying:
Ask and you'll get;
Seek and you'll find;
Knock and the door will open.
10-13"Don't bargain with God. Be direct. Ask for what you need. This is not a cat-and-mouse, hide-and-seek game we're in. If your little boy asks for a serving of fish, do you scare him with a live snake on his plate? If your little girl asks for an egg, do you trick her with a spider? As bad as you are, you wouldn't think of such a thing—you're at least decent to your own children. And don't you think the Father who conceived you in love will give the Holy Spirit when you ask him?"
I love this passage. Jesus is basically telling us not to throw up prayers to God, hoping they'll be heard. Don't be timid with God, go ahead and wake the neighbors! God holds everything in His hands and who knows what He wants to give us, what He wants to do with our lives if we would simply ASK Him to do incredible works in us. God wants us to be direct and persistent with our prayers. God doesn't play games. After all, isn't He the one who knows all the desires of our hearts? Why don't we show Him some of that desire? Let's start praying, believing God will do the things we ask for. Let's start believing in the power of The Holy Spirit.
But remember, God doesn't say, "Ask and I'll give you exactly what you want. Seek and you'll find exactly what you were looking for. Knock and I'll open up the door you want opened." The power of prayer is not to be played with. I think it was Shane Claiborne who said, "Be careful what you pray for." That isn't to say we should be afraid of what God can do with our lives, but we'd better be ready for God's answer when it comes...
Saturday, December 26, 2009
Music
Being a songwriter is an interesting thing, but the songwriting process is even more interesting. There are so many factors that play into how many songs you can write in a matter of time and the quality of songs written.
I've been writing more recently, but since I've moved here I've only really written a few really great songs. The first one, I wrote in about 45 minutes "(I Love You)," the second in about 20, "Nothing Personal," and the third in about 30, "Classified Reader." The thing about writing a hit for me, relies heavily on influence. Especially with songs like the ones I just mentioned. The ones that I churn out are inspired by something big and substantial. Afterall, my favorite song I've written, "Coat Pockets" was written and recorded in one night because I just felt it and it flowed out. I can still remember coming up with that chorus and thinking, "Man, this is a really good song." I guess what it comes down to is when you know something is going to work song-wise, it just comes easy. It's a natural thing because you're using yourself and nothing else to create it.
The elements of songwriting for me are time, and atmosphere. Artistic expression isn't something you can just pencil into your schedule. I can't just be like, "Ok, well tomorrow I have this one hour block of time free, so I'll write a song." I have become really jealous of professional musicians for this reason. When they aren't touring, they aren't working a job. Their hard work allows them to have a ton of time to hide away from the world and write. I used to have something like that in Idaho. When I was a student and didn't work much, I could just escape to my sound-proofed studio space my dad had added on to my room. It was artistic heaven. I could write and record songs at 3 a.m. if I wanted to, and I did. I was pretty prolific for this reason. While living in Idaho, I wrote about 40 songs in two years. So many times I've thought of a great melody or smart line for a song at work or something and because I can't start working on it right away, it gets left by the wayside. When I write, I can't sit down and think of something that made me feel a certain way last week. It's a now thing.
If I'm around people, or if people are in the other room or something, I have a hard time writing. The atmosphere has to be good for me to really get into it. I mean, it's art. If you were painting something, you wouldn't want someone hanging over your shoulder looking at what you're doing. You want privacy, it's a personal thing that requires personal space.
Today I have some time and some things to tackle so maybe I can write another hit. That's the last thing about songwriting that is interesting to me. The work I've already done influences the work I'll do in the future. As someone who loves music, I constantly want to write a better song than before. However, writing isn't about creating something better than you did before, it's about creating something different than you did before. If I could write 10 different songs that were pretty good. I would be so happy. Learning, learning.
As I grow as a writer, these obstacles will become less influential to my work, I hope. I've written two songs with a collaborative partner now so I think it's a sign of what's to come.
I've been writing more recently, but since I've moved here I've only really written a few really great songs. The first one, I wrote in about 45 minutes "(I Love You)," the second in about 20, "Nothing Personal," and the third in about 30, "Classified Reader." The thing about writing a hit for me, relies heavily on influence. Especially with songs like the ones I just mentioned. The ones that I churn out are inspired by something big and substantial. Afterall, my favorite song I've written, "Coat Pockets" was written and recorded in one night because I just felt it and it flowed out. I can still remember coming up with that chorus and thinking, "Man, this is a really good song." I guess what it comes down to is when you know something is going to work song-wise, it just comes easy. It's a natural thing because you're using yourself and nothing else to create it.
The elements of songwriting for me are time, and atmosphere. Artistic expression isn't something you can just pencil into your schedule. I can't just be like, "Ok, well tomorrow I have this one hour block of time free, so I'll write a song." I have become really jealous of professional musicians for this reason. When they aren't touring, they aren't working a job. Their hard work allows them to have a ton of time to hide away from the world and write. I used to have something like that in Idaho. When I was a student and didn't work much, I could just escape to my sound-proofed studio space my dad had added on to my room. It was artistic heaven. I could write and record songs at 3 a.m. if I wanted to, and I did. I was pretty prolific for this reason. While living in Idaho, I wrote about 40 songs in two years. So many times I've thought of a great melody or smart line for a song at work or something and because I can't start working on it right away, it gets left by the wayside. When I write, I can't sit down and think of something that made me feel a certain way last week. It's a now thing.
If I'm around people, or if people are in the other room or something, I have a hard time writing. The atmosphere has to be good for me to really get into it. I mean, it's art. If you were painting something, you wouldn't want someone hanging over your shoulder looking at what you're doing. You want privacy, it's a personal thing that requires personal space.
Today I have some time and some things to tackle so maybe I can write another hit. That's the last thing about songwriting that is interesting to me. The work I've already done influences the work I'll do in the future. As someone who loves music, I constantly want to write a better song than before. However, writing isn't about creating something better than you did before, it's about creating something different than you did before. If I could write 10 different songs that were pretty good. I would be so happy. Learning, learning.
As I grow as a writer, these obstacles will become less influential to my work, I hope. I've written two songs with a collaborative partner now so I think it's a sign of what's to come.
Sunday, December 20, 2009
Today was a beautiful day...
Today was a beautiful day. It was my mom's birthday, and in the low 80's out in La Mesa. It's too bad she had to be in Idaho today.
Let me say, I love La Mesa. I seriously am SO happy to live out here. I went on a short walk down to the grocery store today and it was just... well, nice. My street is so peaceful and traffic is never loud or congested which makes for a nice Saturday morning walk.
I'm feeling so alive this week. I've felt so much joy, so much love and it is so nice. I've been digging into the Bible for the past couple months and God is just dwelling in my life right now. Nothing brings me down, really.
I will end this post by saying Nada Surf is really really good, and I've said really too much in this post.
Let me say, I love La Mesa. I seriously am SO happy to live out here. I went on a short walk down to the grocery store today and it was just... well, nice. My street is so peaceful and traffic is never loud or congested which makes for a nice Saturday morning walk.
I'm feeling so alive this week. I've felt so much joy, so much love and it is so nice. I've been digging into the Bible for the past couple months and God is just dwelling in my life right now. Nothing brings me down, really.
I will end this post by saying Nada Surf is really really good, and I've said really too much in this post.
Friday, December 18, 2009
Back to normalcy...
Hello world,
It's so good to be back. My life has been undergoing so many changes since I moved back to San Diego in the Summer of 2008. It feels like I've been here so much longer and I'm so thankful to be back in the place I love so much. Growing up is a pretty strange thing and brings about both the wonderful and the uncomfortable. As for now, I am comfortable with the direction in which God is taking my life. I'm excited for the first time in a while about where I'm headed and who I am. Thank you, Lord.
I recently went through a breakup and I guess I haven't really talked about it much, so I'll take a moment to explain. I'll start by saying that I have no bitterness or hatred in my heart towards her, thank God for that. What it all came down to wasn't any big fight or momentous happening, it was just a matter of conflicting personalities, really. The two of us brought out the worst in each other and while we had our moments, in general neither one of us was really happy in the relationship. I moved back to San Diego for her, so that made breaking up a more complicated ordeal and the two of us felt a lot of pressure to stay together because of it. We both knew this was coming, and I guess what's helped me get over it so easily is the slow disconnect of emotion I experienced for the past few months. I won't ever say anything hurtful or rude about her; I learned the lessons I needed to learn from the relationship and all I can really do is just try to apply them to what comes next, whenever that may be.
The result of the breakup has me acting the most like myself I've been in a long time. I'm writing more, thinking more deeply and spending time in the word daily. I used to make myself feel worthless because of the things I wasn't accomplishing and those days are over. I've realized God is willing to do His best with me where I'm at now.
Matthew 6: 25-34 has been my strength and driving force. Look it up, it's rad.
That's all for now. I turn 23 in a month! Dang.
-Justin
It's so good to be back. My life has been undergoing so many changes since I moved back to San Diego in the Summer of 2008. It feels like I've been here so much longer and I'm so thankful to be back in the place I love so much. Growing up is a pretty strange thing and brings about both the wonderful and the uncomfortable. As for now, I am comfortable with the direction in which God is taking my life. I'm excited for the first time in a while about where I'm headed and who I am. Thank you, Lord.
I recently went through a breakup and I guess I haven't really talked about it much, so I'll take a moment to explain. I'll start by saying that I have no bitterness or hatred in my heart towards her, thank God for that. What it all came down to wasn't any big fight or momentous happening, it was just a matter of conflicting personalities, really. The two of us brought out the worst in each other and while we had our moments, in general neither one of us was really happy in the relationship. I moved back to San Diego for her, so that made breaking up a more complicated ordeal and the two of us felt a lot of pressure to stay together because of it. We both knew this was coming, and I guess what's helped me get over it so easily is the slow disconnect of emotion I experienced for the past few months. I won't ever say anything hurtful or rude about her; I learned the lessons I needed to learn from the relationship and all I can really do is just try to apply them to what comes next, whenever that may be.
The result of the breakup has me acting the most like myself I've been in a long time. I'm writing more, thinking more deeply and spending time in the word daily. I used to make myself feel worthless because of the things I wasn't accomplishing and those days are over. I've realized God is willing to do His best with me where I'm at now.
Matthew 6: 25-34 has been my strength and driving force. Look it up, it's rad.
That's all for now. I turn 23 in a month! Dang.
-Justin