Saturday, January 8, 2011

Something I Never Felt

"So can you understand?
Why I want a daughter while I'm still young
I wanna hold her hand
And show her some beauty
Before this damage is done..."

Growing up as the youngest of three, I never got to experience having a younger brother or sister. Further still, I am the youngest member of my entire extended family so I never really got to be around kids, even as a young adult.

About three months ago, I started babysitting my buddy's three kids. He has a boy and two girls. I had never babysat before so I was slightly nervous on my first day but got more comfortable surprisingly fast.

I babysat them again this Wednesday and as I watched them playing, I felt something I've never felt; I felt the desire to have a daughter, a daughter to love and protect. Now, I've felt the desire to love and protect a girlfriend, but that was nothing compared to this. It was a crazy feeling because I've always just wanted a son because they're easy and the thought of having a girl scares me. That fear disappeared for a moment when I thought about what it would be to be my daughter's protector, the one she'd run to when she needed saving.

Maybe it's a little silly to think these thoughts, as a single man but I can't help it. I'm looking forward to being a dad because I just love how precious, impressionable and fragile children are. Also, seeing the joy of a child has always just blessed me. Their joy is so simple, so pure, so innocent. I'm starting to understand why Jesus loved them so much. I can't imagine how anyone could not want kids, seriously.


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