Friday, December 18, 2009

Back to normalcy...

Hello world,

It's so good to be back. My life has been undergoing so many changes since I moved back to San Diego in the Summer of 2008. It feels like I've been here so much longer and I'm so thankful to be back in the place I love so much. Growing up is a pretty strange thing and brings about both the wonderful and the uncomfortable. As for now, I am comfortable with the direction in which God is taking my life. I'm excited for the first time in a while about where I'm headed and who I am. Thank you, Lord.

I recently went through a breakup and I guess I haven't really talked about it much, so I'll take a moment to explain. I'll start by saying that I have no bitterness or hatred in my heart towards her, thank God for that. What it all came down to wasn't any big fight or momentous happening, it was just a matter of conflicting personalities, really. The two of us brought out the worst in each other and while we had our moments, in general neither one of us was really happy in the relationship. I moved back to San Diego for her, so that made breaking up a more complicated ordeal and the two of us felt a lot of pressure to stay together because of it. We both knew this was coming, and I guess what's helped me get over it so easily is the slow disconnect of emotion I experienced for the past few months. I won't ever say anything hurtful or rude about her; I learned the lessons I needed to learn from the relationship and all I can really do is just try to apply them to what comes next, whenever that may be.

The result of the breakup has me acting the most like myself I've been in a long time. I'm writing more, thinking more deeply and spending time in the word daily. I used to make myself feel worthless because of the things I wasn't accomplishing and those days are over. I've realized God is willing to do His best with me where I'm at now.

Matthew 6: 25-34 has been my strength and driving force. Look it up, it's rad.

That's all for now. I turn 23 in a month! Dang.


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