Sunday, October 10, 2010

Maybe I'm on some sort of movie kick...

Let me just say, it is so nice to be here in Idaho. I know a lot of people wouldn't understand how I could want to be here, rather than in San Diego. A lot of friends have asked me if I miss San Diego and the answer is yes, but the entire answer isn't so simple. What I've told everyone is that Idaho is peaceful. It's a retreat from the tumultuous chaos I experienced in the last few months I spent in my hometown. I felt like I was watching my life pass me by and it was scary. I felt scared to death and fearful that I'd never have time to play music and be creative like I had been, in Idaho. I didn't have time for playing guitar, and I definitely didn't have time for writing music.

Now obviously, music is a huge part of my life, but another thing missing from my life was time to sit and think about things. I honestly can't recall a deep thought, or time of meditation in months, before I moved. I know it seems like an exaggeration, but it's true. I'd wake up, go to work, come home, eat, go to work, come home, and lay in bed stressing about the fracture state of my life and any hope of future goals; dreams were certainly out of the questions. It was no way to live.

A month felt like a day, in San Diego. Here in Idaho it feels like time stands still, in a good way. I've been able to think about my life, why I'm here and what plans God has for me. I've discovered that at times, I had bought into the devil's lies that my life wouldn't accomplish greatness. Because of this, my faith became complacent. I'm so happy to be free of those lies now.

Tonight I thought about God's goodness and His fatherly love for us. Maybe I'm on some sort of movie kick, but I thought of the movie "The Patriot," starring Mel Gibson. In the movie, he leaves his children to fight in The Revolutionary War. He has a daughter that won't speak, she doesn't tell him she loves him, she doesn't kiss him or hug him, nothing. He doesn't get it, but keeps trying to win her affection throughout the film.

There is this beautiful scene towards the end of the movie where Mel Gibson's character meets back up with his family before the final battle. They all have dinner and he gives the family a farewell. When he approaches his daughter to say goodbye and she turns from him, still not speaking. He pleads with her to simply say something to him; nothing. As he turns to leave, something amazing happens; the daughter runs after him yelling, "Daddy! Please don't go! I'll say anything, I'll say anything you want!" He embraces her, kisses her and the scene ends.

It goes without saying, the comparison that can be drawn between the daughter, us, and the father, and God. Think about this: what if when we ignored God and turned our backs on Him, He returned the favor. That would be awful, wouldn't it? I feel so appreciative that God doesn't return the favor when I pretend He doesn't have control of my life, when I refuse to acknowledge Him.

I am thankful to serve a God who is the most faithful. Thank you, Father for your unfailing love, and for never giving up on me. Your relentless pursuit of my heart has changed and strengthened me.


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