Tonight, a tinge of loneliness crept into my heart. I worshiped God, in response. Worship is a really intimate thing for me. I never feel more venerable than when I worship God, alone; just me and my guitar. Leading worship in front of a big group of people is only comfortable for me because I know I'm really not in charge. Sure, I'm leading, but The Holy Spirit is directing me above all.
My mom came in the room to join me in worship, and as I began to sing "How He Loves," I did something I always do when singing worship songs in front of my mom; I got choked up, nearly to tears. I just lose it when I worship God with my mom.
I'm not sure if I know anyone else in my life with less of a reason to worship God, than my mom. Now, I know we were all created to worship The Creator but the fact is, many people choose to not worship God due to life's circumstance. Worship and praise to Almighty God turns into a game for people at times; like, "If you do this for me God, I'll praise and honor your name." It Again, it wasn't supposed to be this way but sadly it's too often the human reality I've witnessed.
Knowing everything my mom has been through, it amazes me to see and hear her worship. That's why I lose it when worshiping with her. The act of worship isn't just an offering to God for my mom, it costs her something. It's a surrender of the hatred, bitterness and resentment that can so easily tempt us away from God. Realizing all of that, I'm always overwhelmed with this feeling of awe. I'm convinced that real faith is proven when it comes at a cost. Worshiping God should cost all of us something, if it's genuine.
Being the son of a worshiper of God is something special. It's even more special when my mom tells me she's proud of me; when she asks me if I'll come along to their home group, just to lead a short time of worship. She doesn't care that I play a Gibson Hummingbird, my mom "Just wants to show off her son."